I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
