making cat noises will not fix the situation.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Houston, we have a blender
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
