first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
