ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
