I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
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He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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