im holly from the hills drunk
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
