Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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