Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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