i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
