so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
