Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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