Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
