I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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