i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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