God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
