I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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