Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
