Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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