it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Pants are for mortals
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