You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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