no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
