the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize