party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
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