Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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