she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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