Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
