Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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