Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
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My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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