i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
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he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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