i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
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She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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