Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize