I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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