you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
