Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize