I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize