you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
