Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
