I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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