Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
