I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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