I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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