She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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