Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
