Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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