OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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