guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
We got so high we made milksteak
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
