so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
