Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
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I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
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I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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