Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
My bed smells like the plague
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize