Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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