Buhtt sex?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize