Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
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The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize