Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize