oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize