Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
