I can text with my tongue
Someone shit on the floor
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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