I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
