sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
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no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
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I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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