we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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