i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
