Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize