i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
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